Life Lessons

1. Plaid Thursdays and a bad case of '90s nostalgia (side note: I think I'm too young to have really remembered the '90s and thus what I think was probably just extrapolated from snap bracelets and Bill Clinton inaugural footage) do not a grunge goddess make.

Please tell this to the Nirvana marathon I really want to embark on over break... I'm thinkin' I'm more destined for My So-Called Life at this point...

To me, decades represent oppression. Years should not be confined to groups of ten! The Gregorian calendar is the it's-christmas-in-30-days (!) notification of the oppressor!

This should say 7th of Kislev, 5770 at the top. Damn you, blogger!

Don't believe in me, just believe me

Part 2

But to me, gossipy moralists represent oppression. If I want to do things that don't fit some narrow interpretation of "socially acceptable", like engaging in PDA, wearing revealing outfits, or staying inside during a fire evacuation, I really don't appreciate these little twelve year olds getting some kind of validation from going around telling everyone! I mean I realize they need to make themselves feel better and of interest and relevance just because they have no lives but still. As a hyper-libertarian anarcho-capitalist, I don't appreciate this kind of judgey life-saving intervention!

On the other hand, Simone de Beauvoir is crazy (reference: part 1)! This is a conundrum! I don't really understand how these two parts are related, but if there's one thing I'm sure of, (erika this joke was lame so I deleted it)

Part 1

"There are young girls who plunge into erotic experiences, one after another, in order to relieve their sexual anxiety; they hope in this way to rid themselves of their curiosity and their obsessive interest in sex; but their actions retain a theoretical cast that makes them as unreal as the fantasies in which others anticipate the future. To give oneself through defiance, through fear, or through puritanical rationalism is not to experience genuine erotic reality: only a substitute without much risk or savor is thus obtained. The sexual act is free from anxiety or shame because in such cases emotion remains superficial, and the flesh is not transported with desire. These deflowered virgins continue to be young girls and it is very likely that when they do come to grips with a sensual and masterful man they will offer virginal resistance. In the meantime, they remain still in a kind of awkward age; caresses tickle them, kisses often make them laugh, they look on physical love as a game and, if they happen not to be in a mood for such diversion, a lover's demands soon seem coarse and importunate: they retain feelings of disgust, phobias, adolescent modesty. If they never get beyond this stage - as, according to American men, many American women never do - they will spend their lives in a state of semifrigidity. True sexual maturity is to be found only in the woman who fully accepts carnality in sex desire and pleasure."

Donald just got treated.

Don't think too much...

To me, Lady Gaga represents oppression. Pop stars should not have to rip off Madonna just to be popular! No but really, why is she SO COOL!?! I want to cover myself in fake blood at the VMA's... And the Paparazzi video was the greatest thing I'd ever seen...until someone pointed out all the interspersed shots of strangled women. That was gross. But um....I wish I was her. Lady Gaga, that is...

Anyway, here is a vegan recipe for fake blood... seeing as, in addition to being a fourth-wave feminist, I am also a level-5 vegan (I don't eat anything that casts a shadow...even if it means stealing that joke...).

1 1/2 kilos of fair-trade soybeans
1 tsp. rice
35 Fresh Tomatoes (even though I abhor nationalism, they'd best be locally-grown!)
4 quarts of Nepalese Weak Tea

Blend, bathe in, and ferment. Then EXPRESS YOURSELF! By uh...pretending to be Lady Gaga...

Legalize it!

Anyone who claims that our government is doing things well enough to justify preventing me from hotboxing the coatroom at a queer wedding probably has health insurance. Just sayin'....

(Dear proverbial college people/overzealous high school teachers, It's just a theoretical legal position, not a real incident....jeeeez.)

"If I can't dance...."

How over the top is it that I want this on a poster?

I mean...To me, posters represent oppression. Images should not be confined to one's dorm wall or a seedy phonebooth! Of course, I'm not going to come up with a solution for this (or anything else, for that matter), because I'm a radical leftist blogger and we just don't do that kind of thing! Side note...I'm not a radical leftist. This is facetious. I don't know.

AND ANOTHER THING: Posters are not a valid form of self-expression, unless you take the pictures yourself, and then learn about community darkroom movements so you can develop your own photos outside of the generic conglomerate photolab monopoly. Can I be self-congratulatory now? Oh, it's my blog? I can do whatever I want? Awesome.